L.O.N.

Line Of The Night:

Dirk Nowitzki — 48 points on 12-15 shooting and 24-24 from the free throw line, 6 boards, 4 assists, 4 blocks

We’ve said it before, and we’ll say it again.  Big.  Dirk.  Like.  Whut.  If Scott Brooks had walked into his living room, flicked on his PS3, set the level to All-World-Pro-Star and played the Mavs, the computer might have, at it’s ceiling, produced a game like this.  Automatic.  Robotic.  And he even went a stretch in the 4th, during the Jose Juan Barea Show, when he didn’t really shoot much!  He didn’t even cap out!  This was an all-time great playoff performance.  Become legendary.

Worst Of The Night AKA Not So Bad Of The Night:

Russell Westbrook — 20 points on 3-15 shooting, 3 assists, 3 boards, 1 steal

People were all over him again last night for his shooting percentage, but he obeyed our rule — he shot less than Kevin Durant, whose ridiculous 40 point night was overshadowed by Dirk’s redirkulous night.  We are not even going to get on Westbrook too hard.  He stayed aggressive.  He lived in the lane (only 4 shots outside the paint) and foul line (14-18 there), and he shot no 3’s!  Game 2 will be his true test.  Does he go to that Kobe, hero style, our does he stick with this style game, knowing he is probably not going to miss all those shots again?  Oh, but still expect a million street MC’s to start giving us “I shoot more than Westbrook” lines.

For Threeeeeeeeee Of The Night:

Jason Kidd — 3 points, 3 boards, 3 steals, 3 turnovers, 3 fouls, 3 3-point attempts

All three everything?  Is there a numerologist in the building?

Enough with the blue outs, when the other team WEARS THAT COLOR!  We kept thinking it was an OKC home game when looking at that crowd… OKC probably is not feeling all that bad about this one.  They had this one down to 6 points late despite Dirk’s once in a lifetime game, so if they tighten some stuff up, this will be a series… Kevin Durant looked like a creature from another world on the play where he grabbed the defensive rebound and took it coast-to-coast… Should James Harden start?  Thabo Sefolosha seems to be nothing more than a placeholder in this matchup, with no real wing player for him to lock down…  The Cavs win the #1 pick in the NBA Draft via the Clippers pick they acquired in the Baron Davis deal.  Yikes, that deal looks a whole lot worse now, but it’s typical Clip Joint ish… Nate Robinson, go to your room.  Word to Tony Kornheiser…

Andre 3 Stacks told us back in 1995 that “the South got something to say”.  That sure rang true as the 2nd Round began.  The Dirty Dirty South was definitely in the building with Memphis and Atlanta pulling off their surprising Game 1 upsets over Oklahoma City and Chicago, respectively.  Dallas and Miami are more South by geography than culture, but they held up their end of the bargain.  We’ll see if the South keeps talking.

Line Of The Night:

Joe Johnson — 34 points, 4 boards, 3 assists, 3 steals

Jamal Crawford — 22 points, 3 assists, 1 board, 1 steal, 1 block

Last night Chuck said he wished he could put Jamal Crawford’s brain in Joe Johnson’s body.  While we appreciate Barkley’s ruminations on brain-swapping — on of our favorite pasttimes — if they play like they did last night, they are the perfect fire & ice combo.  In fact, they meet one of Barkley’s other favorite scenarios.  To win a championship, he claims, you must have “That Dude” (Johnson) and a “Crazy Guy” (J-Creezy).

No doubt, Johnson was at the top of his game last night, with the perfect combination of efficiency and assertiveness.  While Creezy’s crazy is there every night, this type of game is not always what the Hawks get from Johnson.  OutKast went on to be one of the greatest Hip-Hop groups of all-time after Andre’s statement.  Only last night’s version of Joe Johnson can lead the Hawks to a similar post statement impact.

Worst Of The Night:

The Los Angeles Lakers blowing a 16-point 3rd quarter lead.

How did that happen?  Other than Dallas’ end of half mental gaffes, the Lakers seemed to be dominating on their own accord.  They seemed to be maximizing every offensive advantage their unique lineup provided.  They made Dallas look like Dirk and a bunch of mismatched one-way players.  Dallas lived on the perimeter, which is usually assured post-season death.  Then just like that, whether it be lost mental focus, or the genie going back in the bottle, the Lakers looked like a mess.  They were powerless to prevent the Mavs from slowly creeping back in.  With about 2:30 left, they had the ball, still up 3.  Their game, still, right?  But from then on, it was a string of bad possessions (other than Kobe’s final shot), largely due to some tremendous Dallas defense.  Mix in a couple breaks that went Dallas’ way, as well as some crazy shots from Dirk, and the Lakers found themselves in a familiar 0-1 deficit.

And is it a coincidence that Kobe’s two highest shot games this post-season have been the two Lakers Game 1 losses?  He looked outstanding in the 1st quarter, as he looked to but his imprint on the game and series, but as game clock wound, he maybe should have followed that 1st quarter output up with at least 1 assist.  Might have been the difference in this nailbiter.

Big Dirk Like Whut Of The Night:

Dirk Nowitzki — 28 points, 14 boards, 3 assists, 2 steals, 1 block

He played damn near flawless.  We could have done without that “fake tough guy” chicken wing he threw towards Artest, and there was one play in which he tried to finish at the rim in a hopelessly soft manner, but we cannot hate on his output.  Redirkulous.

Coach Of The Year Of The Night:

Tom Thibodeau received his Coach Of The Year award before the game last night.  After falling behind to the Hawks 0-1, he has to prove his worthiness all over again.  Larry Drew was like Hakeem Olajuwon after David Robinson won the 1995 MVP.  Drew was Dream Shakin’ on the chalkboard and dropping 50 in the huddle.  Now who’s coach of the year, Tom!

The Bulls did show one strategy change late in the game — trapping the ball as crossed halfcourt — that did prove at least bothersome to the Hawks.  All the coaching in the world won’t make Korver quicker than Teague, anyone capable of stopping some of those Johnson and Creezy shots, or heal Derrick Rose’s re-sprained ankle, but the Bulls have to come up with something better on offense.

Al Horford on the Hawks, Joakim Noah on the Bulls, Corey Brewer on the Mavs, and Taurean Green on the ???  Seems like some team out there fishing right now missed an auto-pass to the 2nd Round by not handing out a minimum contract to the fourth Gator… The Kings are back in Sacramento for at least one more year…

As seen on SLAMOnline:

The madness is officially over.  It’s all double-headers, single games, or [gasp] nights off from here on out.  After the trailing teams went 0-3 in for Game 7’s last night, the Spurs are the last hope for one in the first round.  Second round is when we start to realize the realism of life and actuality, though.  Word to AZ.  So fasten your seat belts.  Word to Ralph Lawler.

Line Of The Night:

Dirk Nowitzki — 33 points, 11 boards, 4 assists, 1 block

Big.  Dirk.  Like.  Whut.  Chris Johnson hit him with a shot to the head and lit a fire under Dirk.  He was the Dirk we’d like to see more often in the Mavs closeout game.  Fiery.  On fire.  Virtually unstoppable.  But is it going to have to take a bump to the head to get him going like this against the Lakers?  At least he’ll have Ron Artest around to potentially provide such a blow.  It was a true team effort to close this one out though, as Dirk, Jet, Kidd, Shawn Marion and J.J. Barea all had key baskets in the clutch.  Oh, and Tyson Chandler on D against LaMarcus Aldridge.

Worst Of The Night AKA Near Triple-Double Of The Night:

Chris Paul — 11 assists, 10 points, 8 boards, 2 steals

Wow, did we just write that?  Probably a first in L.O.N. history to have these two categories coincide.  Paul would tell you himself it was not his best effort.  Hard to say exactly what happened, but it seemed like he — and his teammates — did not show the expected desperation until way late.  The Lakers even game them a little opening to start the game, as they came out lethargic as well.  Tough pill to swallow for CP3, but you cannot fault him much, given his amazing effort throughout the rest of the series.

Strategery Of The Night:

Kobe Bryant — 24 points, 3 steals, 2 assists, 1 rebound

The stats are whatever, but what we noticed was how good a job he did bringing up the ball quickly and getting it to the big men early before the Hornets’ D was setup.  And credit to Bynum and Gasol for getting down the floor and establishing position at an equal pace.  That strategy killed the Hornets all night long.

Don’t Blame Him Of The Night:

Dwight Howard — 25 points, 15 boards, 3 blocks, 2 assists, 1 steal

Beastly all series.  Perhaps his greatest playoff series off his career, individually.  But like Chuck says, you don’t live by the 3, you die by the 3.  Save for Game 5, the Magic could not hit the shot they launch in bushels, and it was their downfall. The Magic face a tough situation heading into this offseason.  With expensive guys like Jameer and Gilbert Areneas duplicating roles, will management blow it up again?  And do they even have movable pieces to do something like that?  Big, big offseason for this squad.

Blame Him Of The Night:

LaMarcus Aldridge — 24 points, 10 boards

Your best player has to be your best player.  Aldridge’s production stayed roughly the same — even went down a little — in the postseason.  It’s gotta go up.  Much was made during the regular season, especially regarding All-Star selections, of Aldridge raising his game following Brandon Roy’s injuries.  He wasn’t ready to take that next step this year, at least not with Tyson Chandler hounding him.

Whew, Tyson Chandler saw the waitress coming with his breakfast, but got out of his booth just in time… Maybe in person it was a good look, but from afar, on tv, it looked like Monty purely put on the wrong suitcoat.  He sorta looked like the beach — ocean on the bottom, sand up top.  God was willing, but the creek didn’t rise… Josh Smith is a debacle, albeit an entertaining debacle… Individually, this series goes to Ariza over Artest, right?  It still seems like the Lakers should have picked him… Larry Drew and Stan Van Gundy thought there was one more competition in the series — who could talk more in the post-game presser… Chalk one up for Carolina over Duke.  Marvin Williams > J.J. Redick…  WE DID IT CREEZY!!!!!

Line Of The Night AKA Near Trible-Double Of The Night:

Dwyane Wade — 32 points, 10 boards, 8 assists, 2 blocks, 1 steal

And it seemed so easy.  The scary aspect of these Heat, is it does not seemed they have kicked it into overdrive yet (assuming they have that gear).  There are sorta cruising by the Sixers, just taking care of business.  In a very quiet way, they are perhaps the most impressive team of the Playoffs, thus far.

Not As Bad As You Think Of The Night:

Derrick Rose — 4-18 from the field

Rose was frustrated early.  Maybe even a little rattled.  But he battled, then battled, then re-upped on the battle.  He managed 23 points by going to the line 15 times and despite his very difficult time from the field, drove to the basket and hit the go ahead basket in the waning seconds.  However, while his offensive doggedness was oh so necessary for the win, the story of this game was the Bulls’ defense, especially in the paint.  Roy Hibbert and Tyler Hansbrough both shot 3-12, unable to finish inside.  Darren Collison and Dahntay Jones were the only Pacer with significant shots that hit 50%, they only hit 4 and 5 shots, respectively.  Then on the final possession, the Pacers were kept in a jail cell outside the 3-point line.  The defense is the backbone.

NBA-Tinged Lyrics Of The Night:

“Let the world listen, if a hater’s caught slippin’/Then my niggas stay tight, got my back like Pippen”

Need to wind down from the intensity of the Playoffs?  Vibe out to new R&B cat The Weeknd’s free mixtape, House Of Balloons.

Smile For Me Of The Night:

Brandon Roy — 16 points, 4 assists, 1 steal, 1 board

That is all you could do while witnessing Roy’s impressive effort last night.  After barely playing and having even less of an impact in Game 2, Roy showed glimpses of his former self in Game 3, and it helped get Portland back in the series.  After all his injury struggles and fall from the top, it was good to see him ball out a little bit.  In the first half Wes Matthews was on fire, and in the 2nd half it was Roy, but the Blazers may be a little to jumpshot dependent to win this thing.

We Are Impressed Of The Night:

While we are admittedly not the biggest Dirk Nowitzki fans here at L.O.N., we were taken aback and very impressed when we found during last night’s broadcast that Dirk is one of only 4 players all-time to average at least 25 points and 10 boards in their playoff careers.  The rest of the list:  Bob Pettit, Elgin Baylor and Hakeem Olajuwon.  Daaaaamn, homey!  That is legit.  Even more surprising than seeing his name on that list, is seeing the short length of the list.  There are a lot of other guys you might think would be on there.  Wilt?  Shaq?  Barkley?  Nah.

Paul George seemed way more aggressive back at home, although his shot was still not falling.  If he had finished that one dunk attempt though, wow… About time Dahntay Jones got some minutes.  He seems like the perfect irritant to serve up to Rose for a few minutes every game.  And he even made some noise on offense… In the past few years the NBA has seemed too sensitive with the flagrants, but it looks like they have lightened up a bit.  A couple could have been called last night that were not… It was a bad night to be a former Pistons coach, apparently… Love those Portland fans.  Anybody that loves NBA basketball that much is alright with us… Kevin Love wins Most Improved award, which means it should be renamed the “Player Whose Minutes Increased” Award…

As seen on SLAMOnline:

Line Of The Night:

Dwyane Wade — 28 points, 11 assists,  6 boards, 5 steals, 1 All-Star MVP award

In a game usually defined by offense, it was the defense of D-Wade and Bron that made them the stars of the game, mostly because of the offense to which it led.  The two racked up 9 total steals which led to about 9 (or more?  ANYTHIING is possible in an All-Star game) amazing break-away dunks.  The two had very similar games — easily the most highlightest of the highlighters — but Wade just barely edged out The King statistically, not to mention he completed the All-Star game staple “off glass to your self oop dunk”, to take down the MVP award.  Do not worry, LeBron fans, he will be in contention for the MVP award year-after-year.  His game — and more importantly his personality — is tailor made for this event.  He balls out and has a lot of fun doing it — see his “taunting” of Melo, his back-and-forth with Jason Kidd, and becoming the official “King Of The Two-Handed Reverse Dunk”.

Game Of The Night AKA The Long Arm Of Stan Van Gundy Of The Night:

East 141, West 139

What a game!  The ultimate NBA showcase ended up including just about everything for which a fan could hope.  There was the absolute spectacle of Cowboy Stadium, amazing plays from amazing stars, and a competitive game amongst the world’s greatest athletes.

However, it got off to a very unfamiliar start.  The typical script looks like this — wild and somewhat out-of-control running and gunning for the first half or so, then if the game is still close, settling in to more half-court ball to determine a winner.  But not this year.  Maybe it was the Stan Van Gundy factor (who must have set a record for most timeouts called in an All-Star game) or maybe it was the “wonderment” factor with players entranced by their epic surroundings, or maybe he was all the first-time All-Stars, but right away this was a hard fought game.  There were set plays.  There were lots of fouls called.  There was a back-and-forth battle in the post between Dwight Howard and Pau Gasol.  It was probably not until the 3rd quarter until things really opened up.

That is not to say there was not a lot of fun.  There were a ton of spectacular alley oops (best oop passer for the game?  Rondo.  Best finisher?  Probably Dwight Howard on a spectacular reach-back one-handed finish in the third quarter), and surprisingly few failed alley oops.  And of course, there were just plain fun individual sequences:  Dwight Howard shooting (and making 1) a couple 3’s after which we were half-surprised Van Gundy did not stop the game and yank him!,  Howard grabbing a rebound and going coast-to-coast for the slam,  LeBron’s previously detailed shenanigans, D-Wade’s own aerial show, and CHRIS KAMAN IN THE HOUSE!!!

In the final quarter, it looked like maybe the West was falling into the same trap the Sophomores did on Friday night with their size becoming an obstacle in keeping up with the speed of the East, but then Chauncey Billups decided it was not over.  He shot them right back into it, and we had a “barn barner” (word to Charles Barkley) on our hands.

The end game?  Well, let’s just say it was disappointing.  Several bonehead fouls (just how long did you party on Saturday night, Deron?) and poor execution rounded the game out before hometown hero Chris Bosh iced it for the East with two free throws.  All-in-all, though, it was a great show.

Other game notes:  Hopefully this was the first of many All-Star appearances for Rajon Rondo.  He might have had the highest excitement-per-minute ratio of anyone…  Sorry, but David Lee was exposed.  He is not All-Star caliber, no matter what kind of D’Antoni-inflated stats he can put up…  It is weird, we know, but wasn’t it hard to tell the difference between Chris Kaman and Jason Kidd when they were on the court at the same time?… Derrick Rose definitely did not wilt under the big lights.  He did not find much success, but he was definitely not shy out there… If LeBron was holding a personal try out in the last two minutes to find his next big man teammate, Chris Bosh probably failed by botching an easy oop, and Amar’e might have one himself a spot by locking LeBron up on D… Come on George Karl.  You promise us the 4 point guard lineup, and you don’t deliver?…

Beast Of The Night:

DeJuan Blair — 23 boards, 22 points, 4 assists, 1 unofficial Rookie Challenge MVP award

Tyreke Evans officially won the MVP award but in the face of arena-wide “M-V-P!” chants for Blair, he graciously shared the award with his big fella.  Only a Spur would and could dirty-work his way to stealing the show in an All-Star game.  He did manage to add a little glitz to the show, though.  At one point, right on the heels of the announcers discussing his missing his ACLs, he pulled off a couple classic All-Star moves.  First, he executed a sick breakaway self-pass-off-the-backboard dunk, and then immediately followed that with the always fun “big man clanged 3-pointer”.

The quartet of Evans, Blair, Brandon Jennings and James Harden led the Rookies to a win, marking the first time since 2002 that the Sophomores lost.  Russell Westbrook — who went for a game-high 40, 6 points shy of his teammate Kevin Durant’s record of 46 in this game — seemed like he was leading the Sophs to a second half comeback, but they never figured out how to stop the smaller and quicker (AKA more All-Star ready) Rooks.

Worst Of The Night:

How do you get a trainwreck going in the right direction?  Try this:  1)  Setup a cow-roping game as a gimmick, court-side at an NBA All-Star event.  2)  Have the first participant be Chris Paul… on crutches!?!?!?  What????  3)  Have the first celebrity introduced be… oh?  what’s that?  You have no celebrities in the Celebrity Game?  Check.  Train officially wrecked.

This thing is brutal.  While it’s always been ridiculous, an event like this does have slight potential to be entertaining, and actually used to be — remember when Chris Brown dunked on Bow Wow (okay, not quite, but that’s how myths grow)?  ESPN has taken this event and absolutely run it into the ground.  Bad celebs, bad basketball, bad announcing (Mark Jones quotes:  1) “Common’s one of the best R&B acts going” 2)  “Terrence J, one of the top video jocks in the country” — could you sound any more out of touch?  And that’s your “hip” announcer”?), bad jokes, rigged MVP award.  A-W-F-U-L.

Only two things happened that gave this redeeming value:  1)  Seeing Jon Barry STEAMING after taking a bucket of water to the face.  If he would just let it go and take Mike Breen out… let’s just say there would be no complaints from L.O.N. if both of those guys were never on TV again.  2)  Common, delayed by weather, entering the game ala Derek Fisher and balling.  He was the obvious MVP, but Remi won it as part of some lame promotional storyline ESPN was trying to play up.
H.O.R.S.E. Of The Night:

Kevin Durant successfully defended his title — this time actually receiving a LEGIT trophy — in a contest that is still going through some growing pains.  On the positive side, at least this thing was moved onto a real court, and given more of an overall sense of legitimacy.  The main problem though, is that the TNT guys seemed to be the stars of the show, when it should be about the players.  We need some personalities in this thing — either guys already familiar with each other, or guys with out-sized personalities.  So next year, maybe bring in Russell Westbrook and Brandon Jennings to challenge KD?  Also, the guys need to do at least a little prep work and thought about their shots.  Creativity was a little low.  We did like the fan-submitted shot, so maybe there is potential to integrate that more.  Finally, the end-game was a complete debacle.  So you are telling us that in order to save time, you are going to have PROFESSIONAL SHOOTERS repeatedly fire from the same spot, shot after shot?  That being said, it was still surprising how well Rondo shot.  Now the Ray Allen trade rumors make more sense, as it seems Danny Ainge has somehow stolen Allen’s soul and noetically infused it into Rondo’s body… so teams will actually be receiving Zombie Allen, should they complete a trade.  All-in-all it was a good show, though, and should only get better with a few tweaks.

Other notes:  Now if Omri Casspi had required the other two to duplicate his shooting form on each shot, he might have run away with the thing… Barley was sweating like a H.O.R.S.E. up in there… Can’t believe KD let the ref talk about his momma like that:  “Okay, behind your mom”…

All-Star Saturday Night — The Opening Acts Of The Night:

We are self-admitted All-Star junkies.  We LOVE the Skills Challenge.  We LOVE the Shooting Stars.  Yes, we have never met anyone that shares these feelings with us… so we can’t even join a support group!  Skills Challenge Anonymous, are you out there?

The best part about Shooting Stars this year?  No Derek Fisher.  He’s the L.O.N. anti-christ and we take a definite less-is-more attitude with him.  We did not like the idea of mixing — and even completely fudging (a current NY Liberty playing on team Sacto?) –  teams to complete the squads this year though.  Clippers and Lakers working together for the good of mankind?  Rockets and Mavs and Silver Stars all on the same squad (although the more Becky Hammon, the better)?  It worked out from a competitive standpoint though, as supersquads were created.  The LA and Texas squads were beasts.  LA’s slight weak link — Pau Gasol from 3 — was eventually exposed, as the Texas team took down the title behind the shooting of Dirk, Kenny Smith and Hammon.

Wow, looks like there is more to say about the Shooting Stars than the Skills Challenge?  Basically Steve Nash, almost effortlessly, showed the young fellas how to do this thing, with a couple near-perfect runs.  Deron Williams gave him a run for his money, but had a major hiccup at one of the passing stations to derail his hopes.   In the first round, Brandon Jennings had a similar performance, looking like he was about to set the record, before getting murdered at the long-range pass station.  If he locks that one down, the title may be his next year.

Here is all you need to know about the 3-Point Contest — Darrell Dawkins’ silk Japanese kimono-style suit coat!  Okay, not really, but that thing had to get some L.O.N. shine.  This thing turned out to be a pretty good battle, but the announcers had everyone confused by saying Paul Pierce and Chauncey Billups were in a shootout to reach 2nd round, when in actuality, Pierce, Billups and Stephen Curry were all advanced to the 2nd round.  So when Peezy started wildly celebrating with KG, we thought it was strange that he was doing that before his final shooting round.  Then we figured out he won the thing… then were equally confused when he declared himself “one of the greatest shooters ever”.  Dazed by the suit coat, confused by the events thereafter.

All-Star Saturday Night — The Main Event Of The Night:

Ya’ll can dwell on the wackness if you want, but we will just focus on the dopeness.  Word to Jonathan Levine.  In our opinion, DeMar Derozan was robbed… or maybe he robbed himself?  His first three dunks were pretty sick — especially the off the side of the backboard joint — but his last dunk was weak — a non-challenging running windmill.  Basically, if he had ended on a higher note, he probably takes down the title.  And he promised a Michael Jackson Thriller tribute… where did that go?  That could have provided some much needed theater.  Either way, we hope DeMar is back next year.  Nate Robinson’s dunks were nice when viewed in and of themselves, but his problem was his past theatrics.  He simply did not live up to them.  If this had been the first time we saw the little guy throw them thangs down?  NASTY.  But he has done better in the past.  Congrats to the 3-time champ, though.

So everyone calm down.  Sure, it was a down year, but this thing will be back.  It’s all about finding the right person, at the right time, so a little bit of luck will always be involved.  Maybe it will be the inclusion of some hungry-ass D-Leaguer or college guy, or maybe even a current NBAer we are not even thinking about.

Chuckisms Of The Night:

“Why don’t we put a deer in the dunk contest, then?”

Responding to Kenny Smith’s repeated declaration that athletes win dunk contests.  And this whole time, we thought day laborers won dunk contests.

“When one of your friends shows up white when he’s a black, I mean you gotta take that personally, don’t you?”

Speaking on Sammy Sosa.  Hilarious.

While Cheryl MIller was announcing the winner of the Dunk In, in, let’s just say, a very exuberant manner, Barkley started to talk, not realizing he was on the mic.  He did not finish his thought, but we are pretty sure he was about to clown Cheryl.  The Chuckster’s Manifest Destiny was almost complete.

Finally, during the All-Star game pre-game show, he let Ernie, Mark Cuban and David Stern for talking so much about the upcoming labor negotiations.  Tell ‘em why you mad, Chuck!

Eat Your Breakfast Of The Night:

Hey Gallo, so you liked that Israeli Salad I served you up a few days ago?  Well, how about some labneh, borekas and a halvah sampler this time?  EAT YOUR BREAKFAST AND PAY FOR THE SINS OF MUSSOLINI!

Announce-In Of The Night:

Forget the boooorrrrrrr-iinng Dunk-In during the Rookie Challange, how about the “Announce-In” betwen Dwight Howard, Nate Robinson and Pau Gasol — all guest announcers during the game.  Howard started off as a seeming natural — he has announcer-talk down pat, and provides comic relief with his impersonations (he did Stan Van Gundy and Barkley) and nicknames (calling James Harden Mose and describing one of his made 3’s as “parting the net”).  However, he ended up sounding like a video game announcer with VERY limited recorded phrases, repeating the same things over and over and over and over again.  Then Robinson (our winner) got on the M-I-C and really brought the players perspective with some good Xs-and-Os talk and specific insight on players.  Pau was good too though, especially describing the specifics of day-to-day life playing as a European pro and the differences in high school level ball and players.

Trade Of The Night:

Dallas gets:

Caron Butler
Brendan Haywood
DeShawn Stevenson
Cash

Washington gets:

Josh Howard
Drew Gooden
Quinton Ross
James Singleton

Pretty easy to break this down.  Dallas gets tougher and deeper for the stretch run, and the Wizards start their second firesale of the past 10 years.  We do not know if this is enough to position the Mavs as a clear challenger to the Lake Show, but it sure looks nice on paper.  Haywood gives you outstanding interior D, as well as the ol’ Carolina championship good luck charm that so many NBA teams have utilized in the past.  Tough Juice gives you another clutch player that can create their own shot.

Terry Lewis and Jimmy Jam ARE All-Star Weekend… Rick Fox and Nancy Lieberman = unstoppable tandem…  DRIZZY!  ESPN put him on the track, but didn’t let him sing the hook!  Use your stars, ESPN!… Terrence J should be banned from life…  Just when you thought it was not possible, Craig Sager next-leveled it during the Rookie Challenge with that carpet/curtain/upholstery/wallpaper combo suit…  Ricky Rubio’s name came up during the Rookie game, and damn — regardless of how good he is night in and night out, he is going to be INSANE in the Rookie Game… Chris Kaman IS All-Star Weekend!… Brandon Jennings brings back the Gumby, and shockingly, Kevin McHale had never heard the term.  Robert Parish wasn’t rocking that back in the day?…  Why exactly was there a random guy at the Rookie Game, court-side, wearing a horned Viking helmet?…  Dang, Brook Lopez is even angry in All-Star games!… Dwight Howard makes the Guinness Book Of World Records for “Longest Seated Shot” — He made one sitting down from 3/4 court!… As annoying as Reggie Miller is, DAMN he tries hard.  You cannot say he doesn’t get into it.  We could not help but think it was hilarious how obsessed he was with JerryVision… Want to buy some DVDs?   Aaaeeeeeeeeee!…  If anything, Usher needs to give his PANTS more.  What’s up with all his Capris?  Leather Capris?  Really?… Was Will Ferrell in the Canadian Tenors?…  It was hilarious to us, for some reason, when the camera panned to Tim Duncan during “O Canada”, following the obvious Nash and Bosh shots… We think Kevin McHale gets some sort of residuals every time he utters the phrase “Bully ball”…

As seen on SLAMOnline:

Line Of The Night:

Tony Parker — 38 points, 8 assists, 4 boards, 2 steals

We could hear C-Webb’s “French laugh” all the way over here on the Left Coast.  With new episodes of Desperate Housewives finally back on the air, guess Tony could concentrate on the matter at hand — the Playoffs.  He bounced back with a score-at-will performance in Game 2 to get the Spurs back on track.  This is the franchise that lost Game 1 in the opening round of each of their last 3 championship runs, so maybe it was simply part of the master plan.

Worst Of The Night:

Dirk Nowitzki — 14 points on 3-14 shooting, 6 boards, 3 assists, 2 steals

Not only did the Dallas role players not bring it in Game 2, neither did the big guns, especially Dirk.  But no one is shocked by that, right?  At least he put up some shots, Josh Howard was completely Styles P out there.

Oscar Robertson Of The Night:

Rajon Rondo — 19 points, 16 assists, 12 boards, 5 steals

Rooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

ooondooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo was putting it down, getting it in, laying it down, whatever you want say, in Game 2. So while Derrick Rose did not repeat his absurd offensive Playoff debut, he did repeat in allowing Rondo to do pretty much whatever he wanted all game.  And that was in spite of a nasty looking leg turn near the end of the 1st half.  With Leon Powe set to miss some time, the C’s will be in serious trouble if that ankle knocks Rondo out for any amount of time.

Last Shot Wins Of The Night:

And Ray Allen and the Celtics got the last shot.  In a sick, sick mano-e-mano showcase down the stretch, Allen went head up against fellow Husky Ben Gordon.  Gordon was hot earlier and longer, but Allen was hot later and last.  Shouldn’t the Bulls have gotten the ball in Gordon’s hands at any cost for that last shot with 2 seconds left, even if it was a heave?

Sally’s Got A One Track Mind Of The Night:

Ben Gordon — 42 points, 1 board, 1 steal

“I’m focused, maaaan”.  It’s hard work to grab only 1 board in 44 minutes.

Coach Of The Year Of The Night:

Congrats to Mike Brown who lead the Cavs to the best record in the league this year to take down this award.  And by “lead the Cavs to the best record” we mean “had LeBron on his team.”  In related news, Joe Smith rapping the Cavs Playoff Anthem?  What?  Huh?  More on this to come…

What’s better, Brad Meezy doing the Tim Thomas-Tony Yayo-DeShawn Stevenson-I Can’t Feel My Face Hand, or Joakim Noah doing it after Meezy nails a three?… On 04/20, when Mike Fratello says that Drew Gooden is “a high energy player”, it has a whole ‘nother meaning.  Word to Asher Roth… Are those guys in the Heineken ad screaming for the beer, or screaming because they just saw that damn Popeye’s Chicken ad for the 3,912th time in one night?  It hurts our soul to see Starbury passing up open shots… Best-dressed on the C’s bench — K.G. or Scalabrine?… Can the sideline reporter PLEASE fills us in on the candy situation behind the Spurs’ bench?