L.O.N.

As seen on SLAMOnline.com.

Line Of The Night:

Dwyane Wade — 27 points, 4 steals, 2 boards, 2 assists

After starring in the pre-Olympic warm-up games, D-Wade had not had the same impact in the official competition.  But with gold at this fingertips, he was locked in from the moment he subbed in, clearly proving Miami could throw him in the 6th man role next year if they are in need of some extra hardware.  His D resulted in a bunch of breakaways throughout the game, and he had the outside shot working, making him unguardable.  Then in the fourth,  lost in the Doug Collins/Kobe Bryant lovefest, Wade put perhaps the final nail in the coffin, hitting a three to give Team USA a 111-104 lead with 2:08 remaining.  Bob Marley.

Worst Of The Night:

Hey Kobe… NEVER FOUL THE 3-POINT SHOOTER (1st quarter, 6:30)!

Hey Rudy… NEVER FOUL THE 3-POINT SHOOTER (4th quarter, 3:10)!  Especially if it leads to such an annoying celebration from the Kobster.  Any more replays of him putting his finger to his lips or of Coach K in general, and the L.O.N. offices would have been re-painted Spanish red and yellow with “La Marcha Real” playing in the background.

Eat Your Breakfast Of The Night:

After spotting noted breakfast chef Rudy Fernandez on the perimeter, mid-way through the fourth quarter, The Kobster decided it was time to reward all of teammate Dwight Howard’s hard work with a complimentary breakfast, so he gambled and missed on a steal attempt.  Rudy took it baseline and BOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!  EAT YOUR BREAKFAST DWIGHT!!!!!!!  MAGDALENA AND CHURRO SPECIALS ALL DAY!

The Spanish J.R. Smith Of The Night:

Rudy Fernandez — 22 points, 2 assists, 2 boards, 1 steal, 1 breakfast served, 1 fade away three-pointer over on of the best individual defenders in the world (Prince)

The gold medal game was Rudy’s coming out party for real… except for the fact it happened in the middle of the night and maybe no one saw it.  He did all of his damage in only 17 minutes, creating highlight after highlight while keeping his team in the game.  And honestly, have you ever seen him, Rex Chapman and J.R. Smith in the same room at the same time?  Didn’t think so.

What Could Have Been Of The Night:

Argentina — 1 bronze medal

Carlos Delfino (and his eyeliner) dropped 20 on Lithuania to bring home a disappointing bronze medal for the Manu-less Argentinians.  After seeing the difficulty Spain gave Team USA, Manu’s ankle injury just minutes into the semi-final game is only underscored further as a pivotal moment.  What if he plays that whole game?  What if Jose Calderon is available for the final?  What if Pac decided to skip that weekend in Vegas?  We will never know.

Formal Apology Of The Night:

Juan Carlos Navarro — 18 points, 4 assists, 3 boards

After witnessing Mr. Navarro step up and ball out in Jose Calderon’s absence, L.O.N. would like to formally apologize to Mr. Navarro, his family, and his friends.  He never quite made it fully onto our radar this past NBA season, and as a result, we never launched an official “Free Juan Carlos Navarro” campaign, and now we’ve lost his talent to the either of Euroleague.  While it is definitely too little too late… FREE JUAN CARLOS NAVARRO!!!!  Now that he is battling Andre Barrett for playing time, maybe the campaign IS still necessary.

Olympics Hangover Of The Night:

During any other off-season, LeBron James would be celebrating the acquisition of point guard Mo Williams by the Cleveland Cavs management right about now.  After all, going from Delonte West, Boobie Gibson, Eric Snow and Damon Jones to Mo is a nice little upgrade, right?.  However, LeBron has been sharing the court with a bit of a different point guard crowd lately, and it will be an adjustment.  Sorry, Mo.

Double R Of The Night:

Ricky Rubio — 6 points, 6 boards, 3 assists, 3 steals

It has been a while since the Ruff Ryders had the streets on lock, but Ricky might be able to provide the Dean fam once last shot at glory.  Think of the marketing opportunities!  The And-1 Double R Edition, featuring Rubio highlights over Ruff Ryder tracks?  Europe would be a wrap.  They already have the start of a legit mix from the gold medal game alone, with the sick fast break no look to Pau and the Jason Kidd double-serve up — once on the perimeter and once on a break in which Ricky took on Kidd and LeBron.  And if we have to stomach the Euro killing the dollar, then they should have to deal with Drag-On and Eve.

Seriously though, while his deficiencies (fatigue, a milli deflected passes) showed as the game went on, let the L.O.N. co-signed Rubio for #1 campaign begin.

It was great to watch basketball without all of the constant commercials/timeout breaks/tv network crap the NBA forces on us.  Too bad we still had to deal with Mike Breen’s opinions… The Etching Strikes Back:  LeBron James’ “Gold Medal” shoe features Nike’s version of the plague… Spain’s turnovers must have been killing Jose Calderon on the bench.  He was in uniform, too, so you know he wanted to sneak out there…  At one point Tayshaun Prince faked a pass then hit a lay-up, showing more flash in that single play then he has in his entire NBA career.  And of course, Olympics replay highlights are pretty much non-existent, so it basically never happened!…  David Stern had a long day/night/something before this game.  He was in the crowd looking rough… And who was next to him in the purple shades?  Some sort of futuristic, secret service, alien?  Wild…  Navarro:  Spanish for “floater”…  Carlos:  Spanish for “runner”… Juan:  Spanish for “tear-drop”…  Really, Jason?…  Melo getting his Mateen Cleaves on was comedy.  You could probably catch him sleeping on the bench in Denver…

As seen on SLAMOnline.com.

Line Of The Night:

Luis Scola — 28 points, 11 boards, 2 steals, 2 blocks

Every single Houston Rocket needs to watch the tape of this game to appreciate what Scola can do.  He abused all types of varying USA defender’s, showcasing a vast array of post moves.  Give that man the rock, Rick Adelman!

Worst Of The Night:

Clocks in Argentina may still read 11:21 A.M.  At roughly that moment, Manu Ginobili — the de facto king of his country — dropped to floor clutching his ankle and the hopes of a nation were dashed.  Kids with crushed hoop dreams sobbed, and even the most stone-faced shed a tear.  It was enough to make a hard rock cry.  It wasn’t only Argentinians that were upset.  USA/Argentina was one of the potential marquee match-ups heading into the 2008 Olympics, so anybody that loved basketball had to be disappointed.   Argentina put up a good fight, keeping it within 8-10 for much of the 2nd quarter, but their undermanned squad could not get over that hump, perhaps marking the end of a memorable era in Argentinian hoops.  Quite possibly a whole ‘nother type of scenario if Manu had been around for the whole game, though.

13 Shots To The Dome Of The Night:

Carmelo Anthony — 21 points on 13-13 from the FT line, 4 boards, 1 steal, 1 block

While Melo was a horrid 3-14 from the field, including 2-8 from three, he got it done from the other line, looking at least a little bit like the guy that lead the team during Olympic qualifying.  Once Melo and the rest of his teammates went back to the lab at the half and figured out it is usually idea to shoot more 2’s than 3’s, especially when you are 6 of 20 from the outside, this game was a wrap.  And even though Mike Breen broke out his over-the-top self-righteous tone to criticize Melo for getting in Andres Nocioni’s face after a hard foul on Dwight Howard, the little skirmish actually seemed to break Team USA out of it’s malaise and get the guys fired up.  Game after game a new guy leads Team USA in scoring, which really serves to under score this group’s acceptance of the international team concept.

Conspiracy Theory Of The Night:

Jerry Colangelo runs USA Basketball.  His son, Bryan, runs the Toronto Raptors, who were locked into a lengthy insurance/legal battle with Spain’s Jorge Garbajosa after he played injured for Spain’s team against the organizations wishes.  Jose Calderon now plays for both the Raptors and Spain’s national team, Team USA’s last obstacle to the gold medal.  He was held out of the semi-final game by Toronto’s medical staff due to a partial tear in his abductor muscle.   Hmm… you make the call.  Spain pulled out the tough 91-86 win despite Calderon’s absence, as Lithuania’s offense sputtered towards the end.  If Calderon is out for the Finals though, it severely hurts their chances.

Eat Your Breakfast Of The Night:

Spain’s Rudy Fernandez had already proven himself to be an athletic, NBA-ready player — just ask Portland, who signed him to a contract this off-season — but who knew he was an on-call chef?  When Rudy got word that Simas Jasaitis needed a little nourishment after hitting all those threes, he drove down the right side of the lane and broke out his specialty — breakfast.  Have some of these magdalenas and torrijas, Simas!  With a cup of cafe con leche!!!

Eat Your Breakfast Part II Of The Night:

Did all the Lithuanians skip the pre-game spread?  As it turns out, as the end of the third quarter approached, Lithuania’s Ksistof Lavrinovic was a little hungry too.  The ever-accomodating Pau Gasol wasted no time putting in an order with his man Rudy, then BOOSH!!!  Try these churros, Ksistof!  COMER SU DESAYUNO!!!

Young Moola Of The Night:

Ricky Rubio — 6 boards, 4 assists, 4 points, 1 steal

The line does not look all that impressive, but with Calderon out, Rubio stepped up and led his team to victory.  Last round we commented on how wild Double-R was compared to Calderon, but this time around Rubio was the calming force.  Back-up Raul Lopez made a lot of raggedy, ill-advised plays, while the young gun got the ball where it needed to be and made several key defensive and hustle plays.  That’s not to say he didn’t bring some flare to show — just recall the ridic one-handed, off-the-dribble oop he threw to Gasol with the score close, late.  He definitely has some flop in him, too, and an uncanny ability to always get in the way and force the refs to call fouls, ala Sam Cassell.  Bottomline, kid has inate instincts for the game, and yes, he’s only 17!  Young mooooo-la, baaaa-by!

Breaking news:  Jason Kidd misses a shot… FREE LINAS KLEIZA!!!… Any excuse (this time the basketball broadcast intro) to play Juelz Santana’s “The Second Coming” is alright with us… We constantly are thinking the patches on the shirts of NBC’s basketball announcing team are Marlboro logos.  How many Marlboro Miles for one of those joints?…  Really?  The Baltic Pippen?  Scottie gets no respect… Snapper Jones is either the most loyal cat in the game, or he’s locked into a Ras Kass-type contract with NBC.  He actually sounded forlorn as the Lithuania/Spain game started.  Either Bill Walton is like his coffee, or maybe Walton owns dude’s publishing!… Come on Pau, NEVER FOUL THE THREE POINT SHOOTER!  Momentum killer at the end of the third right after he had served up the most important meal of the day… Chris Paul had this to say following the game:  “Reporters, I’m ill, not sick/And my finish ok but my spin-move sick/Yea my dimes sick/Yea my Jordans sick/And my steals thick/I’m it/A goldie, a goldie, a goldie, a goldie, C-P-3″…

Line Of The Night AKA Near Oscar Robertson Of The Night:

Pau Gasol — 36 points, 16 boards, 8 assists, 3 blocks

Put one of the most talented post-men in an open gym by himself for about a half an hour, and he would probably put up a line a lot like this. He shot 14 of 20, and all of those might have been dunks. Enver takes bad defense to never seen before levels.

Beast Of The Night:

Dwight Howard — 25 points, 22 boards, 5 blocks, 2 assists, 1 steal

Howard dominated the paint in this opener, but the real story was Orlando’s 3-point shooters. It is hard to believe they will keep up their Game 1 pace, probably leading to a close series. As the “Great Toronto Point Guard Debate” continues, we have to weigh in on T.J. Ford’s side. Looking at pure stats, Jose Calderon seems like the man, but L.O.N. says T-Dot-O needs a balling Ford to win this series. He is the only cat that can get penetration, finish or create a shot. Calderon just cannot take over a game like Ford can, when at this best. With Howard most likely continuing to have an advantage over Bosh, Ford needs to step it up. And oh yeah… can Jason Kapono get some more shots, please? That goes for whoever is manning the point.

Near Ice Cube Of The Night:

Andre Iguodala — 16 points, 9 boards, 8 assists

Wow, and this was a bad game for him? Pistons fans worldwide better hope Detroit actually plays for 48 minutes in every game for the rest of this series. The Sixers did not even the play the best they can, and took a game in the Palace! It is amazing that the Pistons never learn. Year after year.

Fool’s Gold Of The Night:

Carmelo Anthony — 30 points, 12 boards, 3 assists, 2 steals, 1 block

Nice line, but we say he had a bad game. He went 11 of 26 from the field, largely because he just jacked up jump shots. Drive the ball! The Lakers are not exactly defensive masterminds themselves. Take advantage! On top of that, Anthony seemed to loosen up and really play well in garbage time. That is the opposite of clutch. And damn it… pass to J.R. Smith and Linas Kleiza. They were absolutely on fire, shooting a combined 15-21! J.R. Smith was so hot, he set the bus on fire on the way to the arena! Pass that rock.

Eat Your Breakfast Of The Night:

THE POWE SHOW! On Josh “shock the world” Smith’s head. The only shocking tonight was to Smith’s system, as Powe got him and so did K.G. earlier in the game. On Sunday, he was definitely in the mood for dinner-time breakfast.

The Mailroom Supervisor’s H.O.N.nie Of The Night:

Shockingly, the award goes to Doc Rivers. The MRSV says: “He looks handsome in his Celtic green tie.” Wild.

Rookie Of The Night:

Al Horford — 20 points, 10 boards, 2 assists, 1 steal, 1 block

Elton Brand 2.0 did himself proud in Game 1 vs. Boston, surprisingly leading the Hawks in scoring. This team barely avoided contraction, and if they even want to come close in a single game this series, guys other than Horford and Joe Johnson are going to need to show up.

We do not even know what to say about whatever that weird coach moshpit was that George Karl held in the Denver locker room prior to the game… The Lakers fans broke out the “D-U-I” chants right away, for ‘Melo. Keep it classy, L.A…. Body By Jake in the house, next to Jack at the Staples Center!… Jeff Van Gundy is the best thing that ever happened to the Mike Breen broadcasting team. Not only is he hilarious, but any talk time that Breen loses, is a beautiful thing…