L.O.N.

Line Of The Night:

Lil’ Monta Ellis — 39 points, 4 boards, 3 steals, 2 assists

We love watching this dude.  He had it all working last night in a win against Dirty Jerse.

Jason Kidd Of The Night:

Boom Dizzle — 25 points, 12 boards, 10 assists, 5 steals

In a heads-up match-up, Baron out-Kidded Kidd.  Boom!  Dizzle.

Near Jason Kidd Of The Night:

Manu Ginobili — 18 points, 11 boards, 8 assists, 2 steals

Can ya’ll please stop doubting the Spurs?  Everyone keeps saying they are old and they don’t have that spark this year.  Well guess what?  After a gutty win at Miami on virtually no rest, they have the same record they had at this point last year, and last year they brought home the chip.  Settle down.

Worst Of The Night:

Late in the third quarter of the Warriors/Nets game, Don Nelson decided to repeatedly intentionally foul the Nets’ Josh Boone, a 36% free-thrower on the year.  Sure, Boone went 7-15 on the night, so the Warriors could have taken advantage, scoring 2 or 3 to the Nets 1, but it didn’t work out like that.  Nelson killed the flow of the game, and that’s really the Warriors advantage — an up-and-down, fast-paced game.  The Nets took the lead, and the Warriors had to rally in the 4th to pull out the win.  Not only did the strategy backfire, but it was awful to watch.

Panties In A Knot Of The Night:

Filling in for Kenny Smith last night, Magic Johnson seemed like he was really trying to put his stamp on the Inside The NBA proceedings.  Usually he fits in nicely as the fourth guy on the set, but last night it seemed like he was trying just a little too hard.  And why did he find it necessary to ride on Vinsanity so much?  He declared him “done” due to his knee problems.  Isn’t done a little harsh?  We agree he is no longer a superstar, but that has been the case for about 5 seasons now!  VC is what he is — a nice complimentary scorer.  Let the man live.  UNC Mob Fo’ life, fool!

All-Star Starters Of The Night:

The voting results are in, here’s who will tip-off this year’s all-star game in New Orleans:

The East:

G — Dwyane Wade and Jason Kidd
F — LeBron James and Kevin Garnett
C — Dwight Howard

Good job by the fans here, with the only problem being Dwyane Wade.  He was hurt for a good portion of the season, and has only shown flashes of his true game after coming back.  The fans love him though, and he’s not a terrible selection.  The problem is, there is no obvious guy that should be there instead.  Guys like Chauncey Billups, Rip Hamilton, Joe Johnson and Michael Redd come to mind… but none are sureshots.  What they need to do is let some of the West cats play for the East!

The West:

G — Kobe Bryant and Allen Iverson
F — Carmelo Anthony and Tim Duncan
C — Yao Ming

With A.I. surging from behind to overtake McGradles, the fans came close here, but as good as Iverson is, where the hell are Steve Nash and Chris Paul?  The depth at guard in the West is ridic, where there are up to 6 or 7 guys that should be starting over ANYBODY in the East.  The standings simply reflect one thing — the West has more talent.

The Cavs’ Sasha Pavlovic out for up to 2 months with a sprained foot… The Suns to play an outdoors pre-season game next year, at California’s Indian Wells Casino…

Line Of The Night:

Al Jefferson — 39 points, 15 boards, 2 steals, 1 assist

BOO-YA-KA. The T-Wolves win their 2nd straight, knocking off the Suns, and Phoenix is officially eliminated from championship contention.
Best quote of the night from a T-Wolves announcer: “And this is the type of impact Jefferson has been having all season on the team!” Really? And what type of impact is that? 7-34 type of impact? Awesome.

Fat Lever Of The Night:

Josh Smith — 22 points, 12 boards, 10 assists, 5 blocks, 3 steals

Nice for the fantasy team, but…

Beasts Of The Night:

Marcus Camby — 21 boards, 13 points, 4 blocks, 4 assists, 1 steal

…bad for the bottom line. Without Melo, the Nuggets still had enough for the visiting Hawks. Camby for MVP?

Chris Kaman — 21 boards, 20 points, 2 blocks, 2 assists, 2 steals

2-2-2-2-2. Whut. Ralph Lawler claims there is no way Kaman can be left off the All-Star squad, and we wouldn’t argue otherwise after this performance in a win vs. the Kings. We’re pretty sure 6 billion Chinese have a slightly different opinion, though, at least as far as the starter goes.

Near Triple-Double Of The Night:

LeBron James — 23 points, 8 boards, 8 assists, 2 steals, 1 block

If anyone out there can give a convincing argument as to why the Cavs cannot make the Finals, we’d like to hear it.

Marko Jaric — 15 points, 10 assists, 8 boards, 1 steal

So this has now been well established: If Marko plays against the Warriors and Suns of the L, where they don’t play D, and he doesn’t have to play D, he can put up some suuuuuuurous numbers.

Beard vs. Beard Of The Night:

Drew “Airhead” Gooden vs. DeShawn “I Have My Name Tattooed Across My Back” Stevenson

Airhead — 18 points, 10 boards, 1 assist

Stevenson — 7 points, 1 assist

Gooden won the individual battle, and the Cavs won the overall war, 121-85. That’s a molly-whopping. And to add insult to injury, Gooden’s beard is WAY longer than DeShawn’s — the two have a bet to see who can go the longest without shaving. If size mattered, Airhead would be the runaway champion.

Contraction Club Of The Night:

Illadelph 76ers, 78 points vs. Detroit Pistons

“points” can also be arranged as “piston”. Just saying.

The Mystique Is Gone Of The Night:

Toronto Raptors, 114, Boston Ceatles, 112.

Early this season it was breaking news when the PGA Tour took an L. Now it’s just another ho-hum loss in a long NBA regular season. It took an alien-like shooting performance from Toronto’s trio of Jose Calderon (8-10), Chris Bosh (8-11) and Anthony Parker (8-12) to get the job done, though. That’s what it takes to beat this squad. And Toronto is hoping Il Mago can throw up some more of these 20/7/7 nights.

Buy A Dog And Go To Church Of The Night:

Last night, the New Orleans found a way to do what few other teams have this season — lock up Brandon Roy. A lot of nights that wouldn’t be a problem, as usually somebody from the Blazers’ deep roster would pick up the slack. That somebody was nowhere to be found last night, and we have to blame Travis Outlaw. The statbook shows a decent shooting night, 5-11, so that makes it even more confusing as to why he just froze up from outside. He essentially refused to shoot J’s down the stretch, clogging up the Blazers’ offense. Now we know his weakness. Gotta be brave enough to fail, young fella.

6th Man Of The Night:

Tracy McGradles — 28 points, 5 assists, 4 boards

While Outlaw may not have had his T-Mac-esque J working, T-Mac DEFINITELY had his T-Mac-esque J working (except for when Kevin Durant gave his idol a little of THIS)! The Sonics were on fire throughout the game, and it took every last one of these points for the Rockets to grind out a 109-107 win. It was beautiful to watch McGradles just take things over down the stretch.

Practically no one is talking about the 28-13 Mavs. Slipping under the radar? A refusal to acknowledge these uniforms? Or the anticipation of another “only good during the regular season” campaign?… A message to Seattle’s announcers — stop calling them the “Supes”. Yes, we mean you, Kevin Calabro and Snapper Jones… Brandon Roy and Steve Blake ran a TEXTBOOK 2-on-1 fast break, without the ball touching the ground. Back-and-forth, back-and-forth. Beautiful…